• • • PIG Gives The Bird To The Pinheads, Peabrains, And Other Pests Who Make Our PIGish Job So Easy And So Damn Much Fun.• • •
With a holiday dedicated to giving thanks upon us, PIG is more determined than ever to honor this holiday in our own, utterly PIGish, way.For the past few years, we 'helped' certain pinheads, peabrains and pygmy-winkied pests who continue to amaze, amuse and/or annoy us be thankful in a meaningful way. This year, we're taking another shot at some of the same fools, felons, fatheads and intellectual flatliners, who make our PIGish job so damn easy. PIG is thankful that Senator Mary Landrieu removed all doubt from our minds. We always suspected ‘it’, but she sealed the ‘I’m a political WHORE’ deal, when she named her price, then sold herself to Whorehouse Harry Reid for $300,000,000.PIG is thankful that ACORN has finally ‘come out’ regarding its support for American pimps who need help importing jailbait Latin American hookers. PIG is thankful for Ayn Rand who saw where were heading 50 years ago, in her eerily prophetic novel ‘Atlas Shrugged’. It’s not her fault that we the people ignored her warning until it was too late to stop the Marxist insanity.PIG is thankful for the Mayans whose December 21, 2009 doomsday prophecy spares us from four more years of that America hating, Dumbo-eared Red Shed Marxist.PIG is trying to be thankful over Messiah Barry’s support for Ruskie aristocracy, after he put all those Czars on the payroll.PIG is thankful for Brit Language Nazis who showed us the errors of our ways. Until they came along, we had no idea how culturally insensitive, and destructive, vile terms like "good afternoon" and "good evening" really are.PIG is thankful for all the intellectual flat-liners whose memorable synaptic shutdowns give us what we need most, in this Obamunist Error: a good laugh.PIG is thankful for the computer hackers who published those smoking gun e-mails which exposed the blatant bullshit being spread by the global warming activists at the University of East Anglia Climate Research Unit.PIG is thankful for that Hot Air Buffoon, Al Gore, who recently hit us with the stunning news that Earth’s interior temperature is "millions of degrees", and thus similar to the core of the Sun. That means we’re not living on a rocky planet, but are, in reality, living on a second Sun. Thanks for setting us straight, Fatass.PIG is profoundly thankful for the Turkey Fryer manufacturers who sell these weapons of mass poultry destruction to pyromaniac pinheads, sending the price of our ACME Fire Extinguishers stock into the stratosphere.PIG is thankful that the DeathCare bill which is stinking up Capitol Hill has San Fran "Botox Bitch" Nan's best interests at heart. If that tax on elective cosmetic surgery and procedures doesn't make Stoneface kick her botox habit, the FSOP will be FORCED to wire her Commie ass up to our 50,000 volt power supply. BZZZZZZT. Problem solved.PIG is thankful that the suits at NBC put all their steaming Obamunist turds - Keith Assholeman, Rachel Madcow, Chris ‘The Tingler’ Matthews, Ed Schitz, Joe Scumboro, et al - in one cable blight crapper: MSNBC. Thanks to the miracles of modern entertainment technology, we can easily, electronically, flush all of them out of our misery.PIG is trying to be thankful for West Virginia chad punchers, who, willingly, eagerly, demonstrate their unwavering conviction that blithering idiocy need not be an impediment to gainful employment, by inflicting Blithering Bobby Byrd on the United States Senate.PIG is differently thankful that Hopey McChange has turned parasitism into a virtue and achievement into a vice.PIG is differently thankful that Hopey McChange insults our steadfast international friends and kisses the asses of our sworn enemies.PIG is thankful for the inspiring example of Glenn Beck, who has shown us that being clinically bonkers need not be a fatal, career ending, flaw. Holy Howard Beale, Batman!PIG is no shit thankful for Casa D’Ice owner Bill Balsamico’s ongoing exercise in politically incorrect free speech. The messages he posts on his sign demonstrate, conclusively, that Bill Balsamico has a deeper understanding of what’s right, and what’s wrong, in America than all the Capitol Hill Clowns, combined.PIG would be profoundly thankful for any rational adult who gives Barry a swift kick in the ass, the next time THE ONE kowtows for a hereditary ruler.PIG is differently thankful for the bitter Obamunist fruit harvested after decades of cultivation by Ivory Tower dwelling Cultural Marxists.PIG is taking thankful into consideration that the Demoncrat lunatics whom the American chad punchers have, in their vast ‘wisdom', put in charge of the D. C. Beltway asylum OWN full responsibility for flushing America's strength, prosperity and inalienable liberty down a crapper called Socialism. We'd have our thankful locked and loaded, if we could convince ourselves that the 'Nanny State lite' Elephant Clan was that much better.PIG is differently-thankful for Barack "O'Dumbo" Obama whose oversized ears seem inexplicably dysfunctional when it comes to detecting sounds - especially approval-ratings tanking blowback from we the people over his Nanny State on steroids antics. Despite their deficiencies when it comes to hearing, O'Dumbo's ears provide enough cooling shade - on each side - for a family of four, plus a score of Czars.PIG would be profoundly thankful if the Elephant Clan put some joy back in our lives by staging a mud wrestling match between Cindy McCain and Sarah Palin, with Michelle Malkin in a string bikini acting as the referee.PIG is no bullshit thankful that we the people are shaking off our Obamunist funk and peaceably assembling at town meetings, tea parties, and marches on our nation's capitol in defense of our beseiged inalienable individual liberty. It's the least we the people can do to thank the men and women who put their lives on the line in defense of our liberty.