Knowing that there will be no witnesses to tease you about your conquest, you make your move on the horse-faced heifer and take her home for a night of "Just call me the King" head board banging sex.
Below, this "stick it in anything Sparky," wasn't drunk, it wasn't near closing time and it wasn't a one night stand....
A South Carolina man caught on video having sex with a horse was sentenced Wednesday to three years in prison after pleading guilty for the second time in two years to abusing the creature.
Rodell Vereen was also ordered never to go near the stable where the horse's owner caught him and held him for authorities at shotgun point over the summer.
Vereen was arrested in July after Barbara Kenley caught him entering the barn at Lazy B Stables in Longs, about 20 miles northeast of Myrtle Beach. She had been staking out the stable for more than a week after setting up a surveillance camera and videotaping Vereen's assault on her 21-year-old horse named Sugar.
Kenley said she became suspicious because her horse was acting strange and getting infections, and she noticed things were moved around the barn and dirt was piled up near the horse's stall. (Breitbart)
With a name perfect for this story, Rod-ell apologized and said he didn't mean to do it. What the...! Didn't mean to do it? Even though I never cheated when I was married, I could maybe see if a Pam (hubba-hubba) Anderson look alike strips nude and says "take me Big Daddy King", one things leads to another and you regret it afterwards.
But catching a glimpse of a horses ass in between tail swats at flies and getting that, "Oh, I justut gotta tap that" feeling is beyond belief. Especially since this was not Rod the Horse Rammer's first time with poor Sugar.
I believe Rod-ell's repeating Horsecapades tops the OH man taped having sex with his picnic table.