Porcus Maximus & Hambo, while teasing Spike the Wonder Tyke, reviewed the moronic deeds of korrectnik's they have so lovingly wrote about this year. It is rumored that Hambo was on a year-end tear and Porcus had to use the cattle prod on him several times.
You ask why was Hambo throwing a Hambo Hissy Fit? One reason being because he is Hambo - that's why! Spike has told me the real reason is some ass hat from PETA sent HAMBO a picture of a beached whale, but it was really a naked picture of Rosie - saggy SP's and all!
With Hambo calmed down and that horrible picture cleared from his mind, he & Porcus were able to come up with some great year end prose for the 2007 Golden Oink Awards.....
From PIG --
It’s that silly season again when lazy "alleged" journalists around the globe start taking the easy way out when facing a looming deadline by running and end of the year awards list up the flagpole. Is PIG going to stoop that low to meet our Top Story Deadline on a holiday weekend? You better damn believe it, Sparky.
Why would you expect us to pass up a chance to salute the good guys and administer some PIGish bitch-slaps on the richly deserving. We scoured our own archives, solicited suggestions from you our devoted PIGsters, sampled the lunacy that passes for journalism in the 21st century, then searched low and lower for those qualified to be honored or pummeled by one of PIG's Golden Oinks of the Year.
PIG's Golden Oinks Selection Committee singles out the following individuals and/or groups for special PIG attention for their amazing, amusing, and or inspiring antics during 2007.
Stand-Up Guys and Gals
- Spirit of America Award: This year, we’re pleased to salute Joey Vento, a City of Brotherly Love capitalist who incurred Korrectnik wrath when he posted a sign outside his ‘Geno’s Steaks’ eatery that boldly states: "This is America. When ordering, speak English."
- Capitalist of the Year: Jon Basso the genius behind the Tempe Arizona's legendary Heart Attack Grill is our first repeat winner. His stellar eatery continues to spit in the eye of caterwauling womyn and transfat phobic twerps, the best reasons we know for honoring him, again.
- Public Bitch-Slapping of the Year: Spain’s King Juan Carlos wrapped this one up when he snapped after taking as much of Hugo "Skipper" Chavez’s bloviating as he could. The King earned a rousing ovation during an Ibero-American summit when, he aimed an accusing finger at Skipper Chavez and shouted this finalist for putdown of the year, "Why don’t you just shut up?"
- Belief System of the Year: Thanks to the scientific illiteracy of a gullible public, Global Warming has matriculated from a steaming junk science load into the foremost brand of supernaturalism on the planet. Energized by Messiah Al's hypnotic trance inducing droning, Gore's Global Warming disciples rival Mecca Maniacs when it comes to mindless, lunatic fringe, devotion.
- Excuse of the Year: This one goes to Larry Craig who sold Idaho chad punchers on a lame-ass excuse - "When I'm sitting in a public toilet stall, I have a very wide stance". Larry got bonus points for his equally unconvincing "I'm not gay" tantrum.
- Madeline Albright Award: Given to the clueless pinhead who made the most grotesque spectacle of themselves kissing a Commie Dictator's butt, this goes to Sean Penn for his over-the-top smooching of Hugo Chavez's bloated buns. Danny "America Hating Brother" Glover ran a very close second. Condi Rice's obeisance to the axis of evil at the end of the year made her a serious contender, but she started her heroic run too late to close the gap.