Kucinich - A Gay Black Gang Banger & Only True Women in the Race?

It's true he said it himself!

Cleveland boy blunder, Congressman Dennis Kucinich determined to jump to the front of the pack of democratic Presidential primary candidates wants everyone to know about how multi-faceted he really is.

When he puts on his aluminum foil hat, he turns into Kookcinich and possesses extraordinary abilities to morph into whatever he wants. Read on:

The congressman was apparently spurred by his strong showing in 2004, when he won support from the bassist for Jefferson Starship and a senile woman who thought she was voting for her deceased husband.

Photo: Declaring himself the only "true woman in the race," Kucinich delivers an impassioned speech about how he's embarrassed by his thighs.

A look at what your $2.9 mil will buy this time around:?

Manhattan -- Calling himself a "gangbanger for peace," Kucinich appears in blackface before a crowd at the 10th Annual Rainbow Coalition Conference, declaring that he's the "only real black candidate" in the race.

He then attempts to lead the crowd in a rap version of the "Macarena."

Washington -- Democratic candidates for the 2008 presidential nomination engage in a spirited roundtable discussion before the National Press Club. Kucinich offers a lengthy monologue on how the domestic auto industry can be rebuilt through meditation and yoga....

San Francisco -- In a speech before a florists' group, Kucinich announces that he's the "only real gay candidate" in the race...

Topeka, KS -- Having landed a coveted 5 a.m. speaking slot, Kucinich addresses the National Organization of Women's Mid-Kansas Chapter, declaring that he's the only "true woman in the race" because friends always "told me I throw like a girl." He then launches into an impassioned speech about how he's embarrassed by his thighs.

Parma -- In a rare Ohio appearance, Kucinich forgets he's addressing a machinists' local and again delivers his "only true woman" speech. More....