Porcus Maximus & Hambo, while teasing Spike the Wonder Tyke, reviewed the moronic deeds of korrectnik's they have so lovingly wrote about this year. It is rumored that Hambo was on a year-end tear and Porcus had to use the cattle prod on him several times.
You ask why was Hambo throwing a Hambo Hissy Fit? One reason being because he is Hambo - that's why! Spike has told me the real reason is some ass hat from PETA sent HAMBO a picture of a beached whale, but it was really a naked picture of Rosie - saggy SP's and all!
With Hambo calmed down and that horrible picture cleared from his mind, he & Porcus were able to come up with some great year end prose for the 2007 Golden Oink Awards.....
From PIG --
It’s that silly season again when lazy "alleged" journalists around the globe start taking the easy way out when facing a looming deadline by running and end of the year awards list up the flagpole. Is PIG going to stoop that low to meet our Top Story Deadline on a holiday weekend? You better damn believe it, Sparky. Why would you expect us to pass up a chance to salute the good guys and administer some PIGish bitch-slaps on the richly deserving. We scoured our own archives, solicited suggestions from you our devoted PIGsters, sampled the lunacy that passes for journalism in the 21st century, then searched low and lower for those qualified to be honored or pummeled by one of PIG's Golden Oinks of the Year.
PIG's Golden Oinks Selection Committee singles out the following individuals and/or groups for special PIG attention for their amazing, amusing, and or inspiring antics during 2007.
Golden Oinks of the Year : December 28, 2007
Stand-Up Guys and Gals
- Spirit of America Award: This year, we’re pleased to salute Joey Vento, a City of Brotherly Love capitalist who incurred Korrectnik wrath when he posted a sign outside his ‘Geno’s Steaks’ eatery that boldly states: "This is America. When ordering, speak English."
- Capitalist of the Year: Jon Basso the genius behind the Tempe Arizona's legendary Heart Attack Grill is our first repeat winner. His stellar eatery continues to spit in the eye of caterwauling womyn and transfat phobic twerps, the best reasons we know for honoring him, again.
- Public Bitch-Slapping of the Year: Spain’s King Juan Carlos wrapped this one up when he snapped after taking as much of Hugo "Skipper" Chavez’s bloviating as he could. The King earned a rousing ovation during an Ibero-American summit when, he aimed an accusing finger at Skipper Chavez and shouted this finalist for putdown of the year, "Why don’t you just shut up?"
Politics
- Belief System of the Year: Thanks to the scientific illiteracy of a gullible public, Global Warming has matriculated from a steaming junk science load into the foremost brand of supernaturalism on the planet. Energized by Messiah Al's hypnotic trance inducing droning, Gore's Global Warming disciples rival Mecca Maniacs when it comes to mindless, lunatic fringe, devotion.
- Excuse of the Year: This one goes to Larry Craig who sold Idaho chad punchers on a lame-ass excuse - "When I'm sitting in a public toilet stall, I have a very wide stance". Larry got bonus points for his equally unconvincing "I'm not gay" tantrum.
- Madeline Albright Award: Given to the clueless pinhead who made the most grotesque spectacle of themselves kissing a Commie Dictator's butt, this goes to Sean Penn for his over-the-top smooching of Hugo Chavez's bloated buns. Danny "America Hating Brother" Glover ran a very close second. Condi Rice's obeisance to the axis of evil at the end of the year made her a serious contender, but she started her heroic run too late to close the gap.
This is just a sample of the 2007 Golden Oink Awards. To read the whole list of awards go visit the guys at Politically Incorrect Gazette. As for 2008, Porcus Maximus has issued a communique through Barbie Q. Ribs (WOW!), a PIG operative, to let me know Operation Oink will continue!
It's difficult to find words which express how honored I am. All I can say is "THANK YOU!" Being named Capitalist of the Year for the second time is truly faltering. Please keep up the great work you guys. Everyone at the Grill just loves the Politically Incorrect Gazette. It'll be our goal to keep serving those burgers in the hopes of achieving the impossible... A Hat Trick on next years awards!!! (Hey I can always dream big)
ReplyDeleteYour Friend,
Dr Jon
Chief Surgeon
Heart Attack Grill
Dr. Jon,
ReplyDeleteAll I did was repost the Golden Oink Awards from Pig, but thank you for stopping by my site and commenting. I will pass your thank you onto the guys over at PIG. I do believe there is a place on their site where you can forward it yourself if you wish.
But more importantly, I want to talk about - Heart Attack Grill!
Dr. Jon - you are a genius! After reading about your health care facility you have vaulted into my my top 5 heroes -
1.)Al Bundy
2.)Homer Simpson
3.)Cardman from South Park
4.)Ralph Cramden
5.)YOU the World Famous - Dr. Jon
Doc I got to level with you.... the pics of the food look mouth watering, delectably delicious, and scrumptiously saturated with yummy artery clogging trans fats, but what is what the nurses?
Doc! These heart stoppers in their own right, must have nitro pills in their aprons. If you ever see a guy walking around holding his heart screaming - "This is the Big One" and asking for mouth to mouth from the nurses.... don't worry, it is only me!
There is no doubt if there is a heaven on earth for hard working, God fearing, flag loving, sweater puppy enamored, All-American males it is the Heart Attack Grill!
If anyone is keeping a list for the top ten places for a man to die - again your Heart Attack Grill! Think about that.... from heaven on earth to heaven in the sky all while enjoying chin dripping trans fats in the presence of good people and (sorry), again the beautiful nurses.
As for taking Capitalist of the Year next year - Doc you already have my vote!
For standing proud in the face of veggie eating vipers and semi-truck sized women (Don't get me started on these hairy chinned heifers) railing about women being used as sex objects, etc... you, your staff (the nurses) & the Heart Attack Grill is what makes many of us proud to be American!
Heart Attack Grill - Ninth Wonder of the World?!?