From Politically Incorrect Gazette --
Girlieman of the Week
Date Awarded: October 17, 2008
Girlieman: Richard Cooey
Antics: Won’t take his medicine
Richard Cooey is a craven coward who, despite his relentless caterwauling, got off much too easy. He wasn’t worried about pain, or death, when he murdered two University of Akron students in 1986. But, from the moment his ‘die murdering bastard’ fate was sealed, he began blubbering about the ‘pain’ associated with execution by lethal injection.
Eager to capitalize on the fate of the last man who got what he deserved in the Buckeye State’s execution chamber, Christopher Newton, Dickie boy whined, that, he was too fat to be offed, painlessly, via lethal injection. What if, like Newton, the medical practitioners had trouble finding a vein in fatass Dickie’s arms? That’s intolerable.
Leaving nothing to chance, Dickie did more than get lawyered up. He had packed on 75 pounds since he landed on death row, bloating his murderous bulk to 267 pounds, which was a heavy load for a 5 feet 7 inches pile of murdering scumbag shit. Nice try, but no cigar, scumbag.
The bad news, for Dickie, is that his whining fell on deaf ears. He was put out of our misery on Tuesday (October 14). Unlike his homeboy, Christopher Newton, the medical practitioners found Dickie’s vein easily, after which this murdering bastard was sent to the hell he deserves. Good riddance? Oh hell yes, but we’re not heartless here in the Free State of PIG. We decided to make this gutless wonder our first posthumous recipient of the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s coveted Girlieman of the Week Award.
Normally, we’d make a crack about our award ‘warming the cockles of Dickie’s heart’, but in this bastard’s extra crispy hereafter, getting ‘warm’, is the least of his problems.