Girlieman of the Week Award: Jeff Eldridge wants to Ban Barbie

From Politically Incorrect Gazette --

Girlieman of the Week
Date Awarded: March 06, 2009

Girlieman: Jeff Eldridge
Girlie Antics: Jealous of Barbie

A West Virginia Legicrat, Delegate Jeff Eldridge, has unresolved issues with Mattle’s legendary doll, Barbie. He is so obsessed with Barbie that he can’t pay attention to more pressing matters in Bobby Byrd’s slice of heaven. Treating Barbie like public enemy number one, Jeff wants this menace to society banned in The Mountain State.

With nothing better to do, Jeff pooped out H. B. 2918 which states, in part:

§47-25-1. Unlawful sale of Barbie dolls.

It shall be unlawful in the state to sell "Barbie" dolls and other similar dolls that promote or influence girls to place an undue importance on physical beauty to the detriment of their intellectual and emotional development.

NOTE: The purpose of this bill is to ban the sale of Barbie dolls and other similar dolls.

We’re not sure why, or how, Barbie got Jeff’s panties in a wad, but we’re willing to hazard a guess, or two.

• The girls in his neighborhood wouldn’t let him play with their Barbie dolls, then, and still won’t to this very day.

• ‘They’ won’t let him bring his Barbie Dolls to the floor of the state’s legislative chamber.

• He’s jealous, because, no matter how pretty he looks in his new frock, the ubiquitous Barbie doll is still prettier and gets all the attention.

• Hot women terrify him, and this is the best way he can think up to make them all dress ‘icky and ugly’.

• He can't kick his Barbie habit and thinks a complete ban will get 'er done for him.

If Jeff is ashamed that he still plays with dolls, that’s his personal problem. We’d like to shock him back to sanity, but, unless PIGster Skyeye volunteers to administer some badly needed shock treatments, that’s not likely to happen. Instead, we’ll do what we can and give a grown man who is obsessed with Barbie Dolls what he really needs. Congratulations, panty punk, you’re the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week.