Friday, September 14, 2007

Girlieman of the Week: Phil Burress

From Pigazette --

Girlieman of the Week
Date Awarded: September 14, 2007

Girliepunk: Phil Burress, Ayatollah of Ohio
Girlie Antics: Subverting Liberty Through Nanny State coercion

Phil Burress is a man with a plan and, when he’s finished, the Buckeye State will be a Cross Cult theocracy under his direct control. Under Ayatollah Phil, Ohio will be indistinguishable from Afghanistan under the Taliban, Iran under Phil’s hero, Ayatollah Khomeini, or the Sandbox with its religious gestapo.

‘... Mr. Burress plans to take his grass-roots movement in Ohio to a new level, using a computer database of 1.5 million voters to build a network of Christian conservative officials, candidates and political advocates.

He envisions holding town-hall-style meetings early next year in Ohio's 88 counties to identify issues, recruit organizers and train volunteers. With a cadre of 15 to 20 leaders in each county, he says he believes religious conservatives can be running school boards, town councils and county prosecutors' offices across the state within a few years.

"I'm building an army," Mr. Burress said. "We can't just let people go back to the pews and go to sleep."...’ (New York Times, 11/26/04)

Phil Burress is that most dangerous kind of despot, a man who is so terrified of his own cravings - he’s a self-confessed porn addict - that he’s compelled to remove any/all temptation, through Nanny State coercion. Phil is such a such a gutless pile of steaming turds that he has his wife watch the porn that ‘offends’ him. He makes her write summaries of the porn action for the Ayatollah to use when soliciting more Nanny State assaults on inalienable individual liberty.

Funded by anonymous ‘deep pockets’, Ayatollah Phil rammed through Ohio’s defense of marriage initiative that thrilled GLAAD BAAGs spitless. Refusing to rest on his laurels, Ayatollah Phil aimed his Cross Cult Jihadikazes at Ohio’s Elected Tormentors and terrified them into passing SB16 a bold frontal assault on booty parlor capitalists.

In its original form, the bill would force booty parlors to shut down at midnight. During operations, the patrons and dancers would be banned from touching. It also imposed a 6 foot no fly zone - a bubble - around the dancers that persisted, even AFTER the dancer changed into her street clothes.

It appears that the Buckeye State’s Elected Tormentors trimmed off some of the most Draconian elements of Ayatollah Phil’s booty parlor restrictions, but left enough in place to cripple booty parlor capitalists. The 6 foot bubble is MIA in the version posted on the state’s site. The midnight closing is still there, but it allows booty parlors with a liquor license to stay open until closing time, as long as they don’t have any ‘nude’ dancing after midnight.

For being a cringing coward who can’t control his own impulses...for using the Nanny State’s monopoly on the use of force to impose his narrow, Draconian delusions of morality on Ohio’s sovereign individuals...for being a goose-stepping pile of Morality Nazi shit...for anointing himself the theocratic dictator of Ohio, Ayatollah Phil Burress is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week.

Parting shot: I apologize to all those Girliemen who are, quite rightly, outraged that I impugn their hard-won status by lumping a liberty-hating, theocratic son-of-a-bitch like Phil Burress in with them. Until we create a “Steaming Turd of the Week” award, you’ll just have to suck it up and get over it.

Note from The King: Thanks Hambo!

Click here if you want to help stop Ayatollah Phil the G-String Gestapo and his Goose Stepping band of Cross Cult Jihadikazes.

1 comment:

Don't be scared!