Girlieman of the Week
Date Awarded: September 26, 2008
Girlieman: Senator Ted Stevens
Antics: Relentless Finger-PointingThis week’s winner is something of a place holder for all the other gutless Elected Tormentor scumbags who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. After watching Congressman Charlie Rangel bob, weave, and point fingers to deflect blame for his BLATANT tax fraud, Alaska Senator Ted "Bridge to Nowhere" Stevens borrowed that defense strategy to ward off culpability for his own ‘you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours’ antics. Determined to avoid having the U. S. Justice system stamp ‘GOTCHA’ on his 84 year old political hack butt, Stevens is twisting turning and doing his best to shift the blame somewhere, anywhere.His gotcha harkens back to 2000, when he decided to remodel his house. Normally, that would involve hiring a contractor. Normally, but not this time. Instead of a contractor, Ted ‘asked’ his chum, Bill Allen, to ‘manage the project’, for him. Bill would ramrod the upgrade to Ted’s digs, since Ted was busy in D. C., where he was setting new records for pork barrel projects. Bill was a ‘curious’ choice, since Bill is not your basic moose molesting Alaskan slacker. Bill Allen is the chairman of VECO Corp., an oil services firm. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that VECO has been the recipient of some federal funds, funds that were funneled his way by - TA DA - Ted Stevens. Holy stench of corruption, Batman!The rubber hits the road, on this one, because the amount of work done on the Steven’s homestead is pegged at $250,000, but Bill Allen, generously, only charged his pal Ted $160,000. Maybe he forgot to carry the one. Or, as prosecutors say, Bill Allen was putting a down payment on future gifts, from a powerful U.S. senator.Cementing his hold on this Girlieman award, Ted Stevens is frantically ducking any blame. Leaving nothing to chance, he blames Bill Allen for his ‘generosity’ and his failure to pass along all the bills. Sensing that such a ploy might not save his sorry ass, Ted is willing to throw his own wife, Catherine Stevens, under the wheels of the proverbial bus with Bill Allen. How? You’ll love it:Stevens said he was clueless about the cost and scope of the project, saying his wife controlled the checkbook. Defense attorney Brendan Sullivan said that when Stevens had a message for her, he communicated through his Senate aides. (AP) When confronted by all the work done by VECO employees, all the freebees bestowed - a spiffy gas grill, an ‘elaborate rope lighting system’, a sled mutt, plus a ‘sweetheart deal on a car’, Ted insists he never wanted, needed, or asked for those things. Yeah right Ted, but you left out one more thing you didn’t do: you didn’t give them back, turn them down, or offer to pay full, fair, market value for them.Ted Stevens is a gutless guttersnipe, who hasn’t got the nads to man up, accept the blame for his actions, and take his medicine. To save his sorry ass, he’ll blame Bill Allen, VECO, his wife, and, probably, the sled mutt, if Ted gets desperate enough. The only one he hasn’t blamed, yet, is Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. He’s probably holding that one in reserve.You’re a gutless piece of Elected Tormentor shit, Ted, and we all know it. You’re also the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. You’ll probably try to shift blame for that, too, but we won’t let you. You bagged this one all by yourself.