Steaming Load #1: Government asshats won’t let a patriotic American donate a slab of marble to repair the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
When he heard about the sorry state into which the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington Nation Cemetery had fallen, a retired car dealer, John Haines, took it upon himself to resolve the situation. Leaving nothing to chance, he had a room-size piece of marble cut from the same Yule Quarry where the original marble pieces for the tomb were cut 80 years ago. Determined to find the right piece, John spent five years of his life having the marble wranglers seek out a flawless piece of marble that’s an exact match for the original piece. He even made special arrangements to transport the marble to Arlington. Did Uncle Sam thank him profusely for his patriotic gift to this nation’s honored dead? Not a chance.
According to a job for life piece of bureaucratic shit, Thurman Higginbotham, deputy superintendent of Arlington, Uncle Sam’s rules of engagement are down with STEALING from citizens, but they don’t allow a man like John Haines to DONATE the marble they need. Instead - these bureaucratic turds have been dithering about this badly needed repair for 18 YEARS - your Nanny State Nitwits want to squander $2.2 million tax dollars, repeating steps that John has already completed for them.
John’s cardinal sin goes beyond not wading through Uncle Sam’s impossibly complex bidding, and specification process. John was doomed from the start - despite a letter from an Army major general who thanked him for his "most kind and generous donation". Why? Because he’s a rational adult, and there’s no room for one of THOSE, when you’re dealing with a group of job for life bureaucratic butt heads.
For making a simple, straightforward, task impossibly complex, Thurman Higginbotham, along with all the other butt bullets, who perpetrated this farce, needs to be taken out of our misery. It’s time to shove a live grenade up their butts and pull the pin. If you run into Thurman, punt the bastard’s balls into a more rational Zip Code of objective reality.
Thurman, you’re a disgrace to the honored dead whose eternal repose is your responsibility. Die in a fire, scumbag. Die in a fire.
Perpetrated by: Hambo